Status Revisited

A few weeks before my baby Ching was born I started using a journaling app called Momento.  I highly recommend it if you’re in the market for a good journaling app.  I got it for free (I don’t think it’s free anymore), but I’d gladly pay money for it because I like it so much.  Not only does it have the typical feature of being able to do an entry (or multiple entries) for any given day on the calendar, you can attach pictures to your entries and tag people and places.  Kind of a sweet feature.  But the kicker for me is this:  you can link it to your social media so that it automatically feeds into your journal.  I’ve got it linked to my blog, Instagram, and Facebook.  So I post a picture to Instagram—Bang!  Automatically put in my journal.  I do a status update on Facebook—Voila!  Already duly noted in my journal.  It’s so great.

As a sidenote, Instagram is my main form of posting tons of pictures of my adorable child, so you’ll have to follow me if you want to see.  I’ve considered making a private blog just for him, but then I realized that Instagram meets all my sharing needs.  I won’t share my Insta-handle here, but if you’re friends with me on Facebook you should be able to find it somewhere on my profile.  If I know you I’ll let you follow me.

Anyway, back to my Momento train of thought.  I happened to be looking through my past Facebook statuses (stati?) via Momento and realized that I haven’t really said anything noteworthy, clever, or funny in a while.  Since my baby I just Instagram him with some cute caption (I flatter myself), and while I was pregnant I think I was too grumpy and tired to bother with a positive facebook status update (I avoid negative status updates whenever possible.  I don’t like to read them, so why should I post them?).  It’s been almost a year since I formed a really great status.

Thus, I decided to revisit some of my better Facebook statuses (stati? I really think this should be the plural form of status.) starting almost three years ago when I was a senior in college and barely dating my husband.  I provide context when needed, and I should note that the first several are back in the era where your name was implied at the beginning of the status, so I inserted my name at the beginning in parenthesis. 

On 9 December 2010 at 2:50 AM... (In the midst of a mouse invasion.)
"(Lindsey) sends this warning out to the mouse that just ran out of her bedroom: You are so dumb. You are really dumb. For real. You don't have to come and confess. We're looking for you! We gon find you, I'm gonna let you know now. So you can run and tell that. Homeboy."

On 18 February 2011 at 1:23 AM... (During my internship.)
“(Lindsey) said to a three-year-old boy, "Look! I made a bird out of Duplos!" The three-year-old boy immediately responded, "I hate that bird."”

On 25 February 2011 at 1:45 PM...
“(Lindsey) overheard a girl on the bus say, "She can't marry him; she doesn't even know him! When he's 40 he'll probably decide he's gay and leave her!"”

On 01 April 2011 at 4:09 PM... (After an onslaught of fake engagements on Facebook. It was also a warning to my soon to be fiancé that I wasn't interested in getting legitimately engaged on April Fools.)
“(Lindsey) is assuming that every "engagement" posted today on this lovely April Fools Day is fake. I'm ignoring every last one of them. So if you legitimately got engaged today, maybe think about getting engaged tomorrow too.”

On 13 April 2011 at 6:06 PM...
“(Lindsey) walked into a kindergarten classroom to give a Good-Touch/Bad-Touch presentation this afternoon, and the class informed "Miss Lindsey" that the letters Q and U got married today! There was even cake!”

On 27 May 2011 at 7:36 PM... (While employed at Smith's around Memorial Day.  This is my personal favorite status update—somemum?  Where does this stuff come from?  This is why some people like me.)
“If I see or touch another Memorial Day mum, I might kill somemum.”

On 12 July 2011 at 2:20 PM... (After applying for job after job post-graduation.)
“(Lindsey) is still hoping that social work job at Hogwarts will open up soon.”

On 15 August 2011 at 10:56 AM... (L=me, K=husband)
“Favorite conversation of the day: K: Well, it rained last night. L: Yeah? K: I sleep-walked. L: You did? I didn't even hear you. K: I went outside. It was raining.”

On 09 September 2011 at 12:32 PM...
“Just when I thought I was internet addiction-less, I found Pinterest.”

On 07 October 2011 at 2:23 PM... (It was a very cold couple of days.)
“Back in August our heater randomly kicked on. We scolded it (perhaps too harshly, as it was a slightly chilly morning) and it retreated. We haven't heard from it since. So, if you see a heater with extremely hurt feelings wandering around, tell it we miss it.”

On 22 October 2011 at 4:31 PM... (After attending a USU football game.)
“Well. {husband} and I were on the kiss cam. So I guess we can call that a victory.”

On 21 November 2011 at 11:40 AM...
“{Husband} (talking in sleep): "You're like sleeping beauty because you're sleeping and you're pretty." Thanks {husband} :)”

On 29 January 2012 at 8:56 PM... (I loved the old raspberry. I don't even bother with Emergen-C anymore.)
“The "improved" flavors of Emergen-C are definitely not as good as the unimproved flavors. Fail.”

On 02 February 2012 at 11:54 AM...
“I did my hair curly today, and Kindergarten boy said (while wiggling all his fingers on both sides of his face), " You have squiggley hair today!" Favorite GTBT quote of the day so far.”

On 03 April 2012 at 6:06 PM... (Plastic flamingos for child abuse prevention month.)
“I picked up some flamingos from the county jail today! Out on good behavior!"

On 22 April 2012 at 1:25 PM...
“If a brownie package says "Double Fudge" I have the right to expect chocolate chips, right? These brownies are good, but they only taste like single fudge.”

On 31 May 2012 at 9:13 PM...
“I don't understand why all these massive zit popping videos are trending on Facebook. It's gross."

On 04 July 2012 at 7:58 PM...
“My sister left this poem on my whiteboard, so I decided to share on behalf of Independence Day. "Roses are red. My name is Dave. This poem makes no sense. Microwave!"”

On 30 July 2012 at 10:47 PM... (During the Olympics.)
“I love the little Peter Pan hop the male gymnasts do during the floor routine when they're going to the corner for the next tumbling pass.”

On 31 July 2012 at 9:21 PM... (Also during the Olympics.)
“I think the girls on the U.S. gymnastics team are secretly Power Rangers.”

On 05 August 2012 at 11:58 AM...
“Fast Sunday plus 1:00 church is killer. Especially when you get on Pinterest and see a recipe for cinnamon roll pancakes.”

On 05 August 2012 at 6:55 PM... (Again with the Olympics, with a So You Think You Can Dance reference.)
“The female announcer for women's diving sounds just like Mary Murphy. I'm just waiting for her to put one of those girls on the hot tamale train.”

On 11 September 2012 at 10:06 AM...
“I was just momentarily redirected to an ad for Myspace. It still exists??”

On 15 November 2012 at 7:52 PM... (During my preschool days.)
“Yesterday one of my 4-year-olds told me that the order of the holidays is Halloween, Christmas, Thanksgiving, then Valentine's Day. When I corrected him he shrugged and said, "Well, I guess it's that way THIS year..."”